How To Ask For Nudes without annoying her

Sign showing how to ask for nudes

Prior to smartphones, no one really sent nudes or felt they needed to learn how to ask for nudes properly. But today almost everyone has nudes on their smartphone and asking for nudes is a skill every guy needs in his armoury. It’s a delicate balancing act. Get it wrong and you seem creepy and sleazy but get it right and it opens up a whole new of digital intimate relationships.

The best way to ask for nudes is to be respectful of the girl you’re hoping to receive the photos from. Establishing trust with her is important, as is creating an environment in which she feels comfortable sending nudes to you. Building up to it slowly instead of asking her directly.

There are numerous approaches you can take to ask for nudes from a girl, some of which will actually work, while others will most certainly not. It is important overall to get to know the girl as best as you can in order for her to trust you. 

Trust is the most important thing to establish because, without it, a girl is very unlikely to send you any nudes.

Before you Ask For Nudes

The most important thing to consider when asking for nudes is that the girl needs to be in a place where she trusts you and doesn’t think that you’re a total weirdo or a pervert. It’s essential that you are polite and respectful of her and her boundaries.

Being thoughtful and empathetic towards her are also essential factors to ensure that she feels safe and respected. Nobody wants to feel like a piece of meat, and they most certainly want to be valued as more than just a sex object.

It’s essential that you don’t go and ask for nudes right off the bat as soon as you first start chatting. This will scare her off in most cases and discourage her from interacting with you any further. 

You should build up slowly to a point where you feel that she won’t be offended or completely put off by the prospect of sharing dirty pictures. You’ll need to show that you are a trustworthy guy, and show that you are attracted to her.

She needs to also be attracted to you, of course, because no girl is going to send nude pictures to a guy she doesn’t find attractive. Once you know that she finds you attractive, you can start to show appreciation for her and express how attracted you are to her as a person.

Most of the time, the girl will give you all the cues you need in order to understand what is appropriate and when it is appropriate. She may give subtle hints as to where she wants to take things, or she may be direct. 

The important thing is to allow her to let you know in her own time when and if she is ready to start spicing things up. 

How To Set The Tone

Once you have gained the girl’s trust and she feels comfortable with you, she will be much more likely to be interested in sharing nude pictures, and she may begin to drop some hints. You’ll have to test the waters in subtle, respectful ways to see where she stands.

The easiest way to test the waters is to simply ask to see more photos of her and see what she sends. If she sends something quite sexy then you should be able to flirt your way to more quite naturally.

Another good way to do this is to find out how she feels about sharing nude pictures in general, without asking her to send her own. This will help to get an understanding of where exactly she stands in terms of the sending of nude pictures on the whole, without putting her in a position where she feels pressured to send pictures of herself.

Showing her that you’re not judgmental of others and their sexual proclivities is another good way to ensure that she feels safe to share more of her true self with you. No girl will feel comfortable sharing nude pictures if there is a fear that she may be slut-shamed for doing so.

If you speak about other people in a positive light, she will see that you would not be judgmental of her and her potential sexual prowess, and she may be more likely to open up to you sexually.

The majority of the time, if a girl is going to send you nude photos, she’s going to do it because it turns her on. This is not from a selfish perspective, but from the perspective that she will gain immense enjoyment from the fact that you enjoy the pictures and that you are turned on by them.

It’s important to remember that she needs to feel empowered in the situation as opposed to objectified. This means that she will need to be at a place where she feels comfortable, confident and sexy before she even considers sending you any nude pictures.

When Is a Good Time To Ask for nudes?

Once you have built up to a point where she feels comfortable, it might be good time for you to test the waters. Begin with sexting but even sexting is something that you can’t initiate out of nowhere. This is something that you’ll need to build up to.

Start by making subtle references to how attractive she is and how much you appreciate her. From here you can start to slowly raise the stakes towards more dirty talk and then, hopefully, to full-on sexting. I also wrote a detailed guide on how to turn a girl on which is worth checking out.

It’s often best to start by exchanging pictures that are less sexual and start building up towards the sexier pictures. If she responds well to the tame pictures, and sends you pictures in return, ensure that you are genuinely complimentary of her photos to ensure that she feels confident and sexy.

That also means you should have some sexier photos of yourself prepared in advance. Take time to make them good. And please don’t just send an unsolicited ugly top-down dick pic. Usually, that will just be game over and get you blocked unless you’re being catfished by a guy collecting dick pics.

As you both become more in the mood, the conversation will start to become more steamy, and hopefully so too will the pictures. If she stops responding to your pictures with more pictures of her own, perhaps it is then a good time to draw the line.

Everyone has a limit to what they are comfortable showing, though sometimes this can be platform dependent. Girls may share more on SnapChat or a similar service where messages are not saved. So you could suggest chatting somewhere like that but just don’t be pushy or demanding. You should be happy she’s sharing anything at all with you.

If she is happy to continue, you can begin by saying things like “I can’t wait to see more of you” and then see if she decides to send pictures that are more revealing. It may take a while before she sends nude pictures, but it will certainly be worth the wait if this is somebody you’re really interested in.

There is an inherent thrill in sending nudes, and upping the thrill factor can play a big role in getting her to send you the pictures you so desire. If you tell her you’re out and about, perhaps in a place where you shouldn’t be looking at nude pictures, the naughtiness factor increases and so too does the potential thrill.

Things you should avoid if you want to get nudes?

There are many things you should avoid doing if you want to successfully get nudes from a girl. While the majority of these should be obvious to any intelligent guy, it would seem that it is not always so obvious to everybody.

First, it’s important that you don’t ask her directly to send you nudes, especially not out of the blue or at the beginning of your conversation. It’s also important that if she says no to sending nudes, you respect her decision.

Don’t jump straight in with asking her to send nudes before getting to know her, as this will make her feel objectified. No girl wants to feel like they’re just being used for their body. First, you should ask for normal pictures of her, and show her that you’re interested in who she is as a person.

Demanding that she sends nudes is simply disrespectful and will not encourage any further positive interactions with her. It remains her body, her prerogative, and her decision as to whether she wants to send nude pictures or not. It is extremely important that this is respected from the outset.

Another big “No” is sending unsolicited dick pictures. These are generally never enjoyed by women, and are more likely to turn them off completely rather than give them any inclination to interact with you further.

Emoji use is something else to consider in your texting interactions with women. Making use of any sexually suggestive emojis such as the eggplant emoji will most likely not elicit any positive responses from her. 

She is more than likely going to think that you are childish and immature, reducing her desire to share any nude pictures with you. 

Vulgarity is never welcome and should be avoided at all costs. There is a big difference between vulgarity and subtle dirty talk, and it is important that you master the art of sexy dirty talk.

Is It Okay To Ask For Nudes?

It is okay to ask for nudes in certain circumstances, provided it is done in the correct way. It’s important to understand that not all women enjoy taking nude pictures, and that could be attributed to several factors.

The exchange of nude pictures can be a great idea if you are already sexting and flirting, or if you’ve been seeing each other romantically for a while. This can be seen as a fun way of taking things to another level, and it can quickly amplify the sexual desire, attraction and connection between you.

It’s important to remember that sending and receiving nudes is not for everybody. Some people simply aren’t comfortable with taking pictures of themselves due to issues of body insecurities or morality. The best thing to do is to broach the subject in a respectful manner without putting pressure on the other person.

If you’re in a committed relationship, it might be easier to talk about sending and receiving nudes, and even if this is not well-received by your girl, it will be easier to talk things through and explain your point of view.

If you’re asking to share nudes with a stranger and they become offended, it will certainly be more difficult to regain their trust in order to continue any further communications. In these cases, it is best to gauge how they feel about sending nudes in general before actually initiating anything.

Why Is It a Complicated Subject?

The sending and receiving of nudes is a complicated subject for a number of reasons. For the majority of people, it is simply an issue of trust. People want to know that the pictures they send are not going to be distributed all over the internet.  

They want reassurance that their pictures are safe with the person they send them to. There is often the worry about what happens if the relationship ends badly. Could the nudes be posted online, potentially harming their reputation? 

For other people, there is the issue of body insecurities and simply not feeling comfortable with taking pictures of themselves in such a vulnerable state. It is a different experience for everybody, and there is no right or wrong way to look at it.

The Best Example of Asking For Nudes, Ever.

There is one guy who went about the task of asking for nudes in the most epic way. He wrote a sonnet with hidden messages. Here it is:

“She places hand to chest with heart a-blaze,

Each halting thump a dance of heat and joy.

No other one could brighten up her days,

Delightful nights’ embrace with caring boy.

No earthly sight as great as she to him,

Undressing nude in morning bedside light.

Declaring unbound feeling on a whim, 

Engagement? Marriage? Wedding dresses white?

Soon bride and groom, they loved with all their heart,

Expecting everything to stay the same.

Mirages ripple, warp, and tear apart;

Idealized people’s pictures do the same.

Love lost is better than a love not shared,

In some pursuits, the rich are those who dared.”

Now while this looks like a seriously romantic poem but look at the first letter of each line. You will see the hidden message that says “Send nudes Emilia”. 


Asking for nudes might be a sensitive topic for some, and it may be an easy topic for others. It is an extremely personal thing so it’s important to get a good understanding of the person you’re talking to. And respect their boundaries and their decisions when it comes to sending and receiving nudes.

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