What to do if the condom breaks during sex? It’s a dilemma everyone has had when this heart-in-mouth moment happens. At best, it can be a buzzkill, and at worst, it can cause major relationship drama. So let’s look at what you need to do practically and emotionally next time a condom breaks.
I’ve had a few condom scares in my life. The first time was with my high school girlfriend, and we were both totally freaked out.
For a minute my rational brain turned off and I had the overwhelming fear we’d be the next young couple on “teen mom”. I think we both shared this panic, as we immediately hauled ass to the supermarket to get some emergency contraceptive (Plan B).
The stress of the situation caused tension in our relationship, and I wish I had not been so reactive. We tend to prioritise ourselves in stressful situations, but your partner is probably just as concerned about unwanted pregnancy or STI’s.
Ultimately, it’s not the end of the world if the condom breaks. It’s totally valid to feel anxiety over the situation but it’s not a unique one.
STIs and pregnancy
Condoms are a highly effective form of birth control, but they are not 100 per cent effective even when used fully correctly.
About one in fifty women always using condoms correctly over the span of one year will get pregnant. And certain STI’s are not even prevented by condom usage.
This isn’t to say condoms shouldn’t be a part of your sexual toolkit – especially if you are hooking up with new people often – but it’s important to know that you need to take other steps to be safe too.
Getting regularly tested, even with perfect condom use, is incredibly important. Also checking the expiration date of your condoms and not leaving them in compromising spaces, like a hot car, can minimise the chance of condom failure.
But sometimes, shit just happens and there’s nothing anybody could have done to stop it. It’s important to keep that in mind in the moment a condom breaks – a lot of others have been through this and been totally ok.
If you see the condom broke during sex…
Freaking out or acting awkward about the situation in the moment definitely won’t help. Keep a cool head, stop having sex and assess with your sexual partner.
It’s up to you two to decide if you want to carry on, or if the mood got killed. It’s possible that you or the person you’re with will feel uncomfortable or worried after this happens – know that you deserve the space to feel how you feel and so do they.
Respect how you and your partner feel. You or your partner might want some physical space after, and that’s valid.
The safest course of action afterwards is to take an STI test in the next few days. Regardless of if you are in a monogamous relationship with somebody, STI’s can often go unnoticed or unchecked. Many STI’s have no symptoms at all, so it’s healthy to regularly get checked.
If you see the condom broke after sex
Can a condom break without you knowing? It sure can and this is the worst situation to be in.
You or your partner might feel super anxious about the possibility of pregnancy, but the above still applies. Try your hardest to keep a cool head and respect the feelings of who you’re with.
Especially keep in mind that it’s ultimately the choice of the woman you’re with on what she wants to do with her body. The morning after pill can take a harsh toll on a woman’s body and not every woman is comfortable taking it.
So don’t pressure her, but definitely be supportive in helping her get contraception if it’s what she wants.
Don’t forget precum!
Even if you didn’t cum before noticing the condom broke, there is still an unfortunate chance of pregnancy. It is rare, but pre-cum can contain small amounts of sperm which can, of course, get your partner pregnant.
Many women do not want to go through the stress of the morning after pill with such a small risk of pregnancy. But it’s important at least for the both of you to know that it is a possibility.
Sensitive communication
Communicating with your partner openly and honestly about sex also extends to a situation where the condom has broken. It’s normal for one or both of you to have an emotional reaction – to feel scared, or even angry.
Respect your partner’s feelings, even if you genuinely don’t understand the emotionality of their reaction. Especially when in the moment, people can let anxiety overtake them. If you try your best to keep your cool, your partner is more likely to reciprocate that.
If this is a relationship or someone you have sex with regularly, your sex life might be kinda off for a bit. Opening up an honest line of communication and having trust between each other is going to minimise the fallout of the interpersonal and emotional side of the situation.
Since women are the ones who could potentially get pregnant from the condom failure, there’s a lot more responsibility inherently placed on them to get a plan B or pregnancy test.
If you can step up to the plate, whether that be financially, or simply getting her to the clinic or drugstore to buy the pill or test – this shows a lot about who you are.
Even if you just had a fling or one night stand, think about the kindness you would want someone else to show you in this potentially life-altering situation.
Just remember that you’re gonna be able to get through this like all of your sexual forefathers. And that being sexually healthy and safe means not only relying on perfect condom use, but also getting regular STI check ups.
Be open about your emotions with your partner and respect theirs. Give the situation time, and know that it’s gonna be okay.
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