Drunk sex is a common occurrence, especially prevalent in young people such as university students and young adults. Technically, drunk sex is illegal due to issues of consent, creating a confusing grey area that makes it hard to regulate on both a legal and societal level. This post seeks to help guys to gain a better understanding of this phenomenon while equipping them to make informed decisions when it comes to their sex lives when drinking alcohol is involved.
Having sex while drunk is something most people have done at least once in their lives. This is a highly contentious issue that receives a significant amount of scrutiny from the public and the legal system alike.
Why is drunk sex such a common occurrence? What effect does alcohol have on issues such as performance, enjoyment and sexual satisfaction? How do you navigate the difficult grey areas surrounding consent? Continue reading to find out the answers to these questions and more.
Is Drunk Sex Common?
Drunk sex is very common in young populations, including but not limited to students, young working professionals, and even teenagers.
This is because drinking is a common pastime in these segments of the population, and alcohol combined with the high levels of sexual energy associated with young people are sure to create a heated dynamic.
Students at university often have a completely new-found freedom when it comes to moving away from home and being exposed to alcohol, as well as the freedom to explore sexual connections with whomever they choose.
Drinking is almost mandatory in these settings, and young people soon find themselves engaging in sexual activities in the heat of the moment with little regard for the consequences, or even an understanding of their own reasons for engaging in the act.
Universities and schools often try to instil a culture of abstinence in their students, but this is simply not realistic nor effective.
Students are encouraged not to engage in sex at all when alcohol is involved, but this is again a highly unrealistic ideal.
Alcohol tends to encourage sexual desire as well as sexual promiscuity. Young people with high sex drives and the curiosity to explore sexually are going to engage in sexual activities and drinking regardless of instructions from people in positions of authority, and so it’s important to simply equip them with the necessary knowledge to make informed decisions when alcohol and sex are concerned.
Perhaps if the correct ideas are deeply ingrained into somebody’s subconscious, they will be able to act according to their own best interests irrespective of their levels of inebriation.
What Happens To Your Body and Mind When You’re Drunk?
Alcohol dulls the parts of your brain which control how your body functions. This affects your actions as well as your ability to make informed decisions and remain in full control of your situation.
Within thirty seconds after your first sip of alcohol, the chemicals and pathways used by your brain to send messages are slowed down. In turn, this slows down your reflexes, changes your mood and affects your ability to commit experiences to your long term memory.
Alcohol does not affect everybody in the same way, and this is especially true when comparing males with females.
Alcohol usually has a faster effect on women than it does on men. This is due to women usually being smaller in stature and having a lower weight, with the result that there is less tissue able to absorb alcohol.
Female bodies, on average, have more fat and less water than male bodies, therefore causing the effect of the alcohol on the woman to be stronger than it is in the male. This causes her to feel drunk more quickly and to feel the effects for a longer period of time.
Around 20% of the alcohol absorbed into your bloodstream moves through the stomach, while the rest is absorbed through your small intestine.
A small amount of alcohol will increase your appetite due to the increased flow of stomach juices.
When drinking on an empty stomach, the alcohol moves directly into your bloodstream, allowing it to be absorbed more quickly and causing you to feel drunk more quickly.
With females, one or two drinks may increase sexual arousal. This is due to an elevated level of testosterone caused by alcohol consumption. Testosterone is the male sex hormone that plays a major role in sexual desire, and so when this becomes elevated, it is possible to feel more sexually inclined while simultaneously boosting confidence and lowering inhibitions.
There is a fine line between improving sexual desire and performance, and the opposite effect.
Moderation is key when alcohol and sex are concerned. While one or two drinks can allow for increased desire and boosted confidence, too much alcohol can decrease arousal and genital response.
Alcohol can decrease your ability to enjoy orgasms, decreasing their intensity or causing a major time delay in achieving orgasm.
Too much alcohol also has a major effect on natural vaginal lubrication. Under normal circumstances, arousal causes increased blood flow to the genital areas which cause swelling and self-lubrication.
Alcohol interferes with this phenomenon which can cause dryness and discomfort during sex.
In males, the effects of alcohol are significantly more straightforward, mainly causing erectile issues and delayed ejaculation (taking longer than 30 minutes to achieve orgasm).
This usually occurs only after a significant amount of alcohol is consumed, caused by decreased blood flow to the penis, an increase of the hormone angiotensin and depression of the central nervous system.
Similar to females, one or two drinks should increase sexual desire, but more than this amount will have an exponentially negative effect on your performance and enjoyment of the experience.
Risky behaviour is another factor to consider when it comes to drinking and sex because while one or two drinks may decrease inhibitions and allow you to be more sexually adventurous, risky behaviour increases exponentially with the amount of alcohol consumed.
Does Drinking Cause Sex To Become Worse or Better?
Whether sex is made better or worse by alcohol is entirely dependent on the amount of alcohol consumed.
As discussed above, one or two drinks is usually a good amount to keep things exciting without suffering any negative consequences. This may allow you to feel more at ease while also boosting sexual desire and confidence.
The drunker you become, the significantly worse the sex becomes.
At best, you may simply be dizzy and uncoordinated, resulting in clumsy sex. This is at least guaranteed to get a few shared laughs between you and the girl.
At the worse end of the spectrum, the sex could be completely disastrous if both or either one of you is drunk.
Perhaps the girl you’re hooking up with has had so much to drink that she throws upon you, or on the bed. Worse yet, perhaps she would want to continue making out with you after having thrown up.
One of you might pass out in the middle of the sex, ending the entire experience abruptly.
Another potential problem is the risk of injury associated with drunk sex. Due to the loss of coordination, dizziness, and control of your extremities, it becomes increasingly easier to lose your balance and end up hurting yourself or the other person.
Aside from this, with the increased levels of alcohol come the aforementioned physical effects such as problems with erections, vaginal dryness and difficulty achieving satisfactory orgasm for both people.
People who engage in drunk sex often express regret later at having done so, especially when they wake up next to a person with whom they would not normally have had sex.
Alcohol can cause you to think that you are attracted to somebody to whom you would not normally be attracted, and you can end up having sex with this person only to have major regrets about it in the morning.
If you’re drunk, you also might forget about using protection, greatly increasing the risk of pregnancy and STDs.
All in all, significant amounts of alcohol are far more likely to ruin your sexual experience rather than enhance it.
Consent And Associated Grey Areas
Consent is a highly controversial issue when it comes to sex, and even more so when referring to sex when alcohol is involved.
According to the law, sex cannot be consensual if one or both people are drunk. It effectively states that consensual sex is simply not possible if either person is drunk because consent cannot be given if either person is under the influence of alcohol.
This rather unrealistic view creates an enormous grey area in terms of identifying whether sex is ever actually consensual whenever alcohol is involved.
If two people are drunk at a party, and they find themselves having sex in a room, the concept of consent here is murky at best.
This is essentially a grey area which the law and citizens alike are unable to come to a unanimous decision about.
It should be obvious to any guy that if you are relatively sober and the girl is highly inebriated, you should not try to be sexual with her at all. This is because she is clearly unable to give her consent at this point in time.
This is simply a moral judgment that anybody of a sound mind should be able to make, and there is no excuse for taking advantage of somebody who is too drunk to know what is happening to them.
In the event that both of you involved in a hookup are on relatively the same level of drunkenness, there are certain measures that can be put into place to ensure that issues of consent do not emerge after the hookup.
Because it is unrealistic to expect that anybody will refrain completely from sex while imbibing alcohol, it is essential to hold yourself accountable to certain standards and ensure that you communicate effectively with the girl you’re hooking up with.
The hope is that with the right education and knowledge, the idea of sexual consent will be so well ingrained in your subconscious that you are able to make relatively sound judgments despite your level of intoxication.
How to communicate during drunk sex
Communication is key. It’s essential to ensure that you’re constantly communicating with the girl throughout the sexual experience.
This means checking in with her and asking her if she is okay, if she is happy with what is happening, and if you have her permission before moving on to any further sexual acts.
An important factor to consider here is the fact that everybody is entitled to change their mind about anything during sex, and at any time. If, for example, the girl you’re hooking up with had said earlier while making out that she was happy with a certain sexual activity, but she’s now saying that she no longer wishes to go ahead with this, you must accept and respect this.
Simply because she agreed earlier on, she is fully entitled to change her mind, and as a guy, it is your duty to respect her choices.
It is extremely important that you and any girl you are hooking up with are “on the same page” about what is happening throughout the encounter to ensure that there are no blurred lines on what is acceptable to her and what is not.
Do not, under any circumstances try to hook up with a girl who is clearly highly inebriated and unable to communicate coherently. This is grounds for a rape trial if she claims she did not consent, and it is simply not worth going down this path.
In these circumstances, it is far better to ensure that the girl is sober before making any further moves.
If she is coherent and able to communicate her wants and needs effectively, ensure that you are constantly checking in with her to ensure that what you are doing is something she is okay with.
If the girl’s ability to communicate changes at all during the encounter, leave her alone, but always ensure that she is safe. This will stand you in far better stead in the long run than trying to pursue her sexually.
Some examples of questions you may ask the girl include the following:
- Are you sure you want to do this?
- Are you okay?
- Do you want to keep going?
- Do you want me to stop?
- Does this feel good for you?
- What would you like to do next?
Overall, while it’s pretty much unavoidable that drinking and sex occur together, it is best to exercise caution when combining them. This will ensure that you and her are both able to enjoy yourselves in a safe manner without any negative consequences.