In this revealing and emotional article, I share the behind-the-scenes drama involving my podcast, my friendship with Kiara Lord, and our pursuit of exposing abuse within the porn industry. Join me as I unravel the complexities of betrayal, victim-blaming, and the impact on victims who bravely speak out.
For the last few years, Kiara Lord has been the closest friend I ever had. Our friendship was something truly special, transcending the usual boundaries of friendship and even surpassing the intimacy of many romantic relationships.
And yet, it remained purely platonic. The only time anything remotely sexual occurred between us was one night when Kiara drunkenly tried to kiss me, but I knew that wasn’t what our friendship was about.
Our connection was forged in the most unlikely of circumstances, when we bonded over helping a mutual friend who had just been taken to a mental hospital. From that moment on, we became inseparable. We’d see each other several times a week, watch movies together, and indulge in either delicious or utterly trashy food like McDonald’s.
Our movie nights often featured disturbing horror flicks, accompanied by copious amounts of popcorn. We were in constant communication, exchanging good morning and goodnight messages almost every single day. Our friendship was a testament to the power of human connection.
Kiara’s presence on my podcast, LustCast, was a dream too. Our raw, brutal, and honest chemistry was awesome, and working on my passion project with my best friend was an absolute blast. I felt incredibly fortunate to have her by my side, both on and off the show.
Our bond was so strong that we supported each other through thick and thin. When Kiara underwent surgery for sterilization, despite my personal disagreement, I stood by her side because that’s what friends do. We were each other’s rock through life’s ups and downs.
Kiara joins the good guys against Rocco Siffredi
Then, in December 2022, Nelly Kent accused Rocco Siffredi of violent abuse against girls in the porn industry. When she was silenced by Siffredi and others, I knew I had to investigate further and report on the story. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I believed it was my moral duty.
I turned to Kiara for support, asking her simply to stand behind the camera as I addressed the issue. But she went above and beyond, insisting on being a part of the podcast despite the potential backlash and risks. Kiara believed in the cause and wanted to support me wholeheartedly.
Not only did she support me, but she also shared her own experiences of working with Siffredi. Her courage and vulnerability were invaluable to our investigation and added immense credibility to our story.
As I continued to investigate Siffredi’s allegations, Pierre Woodman’s name repeatedly surfaced in my DMs, shared by victims who had suffered at his hands. Kiara, who is a casual friend of Woodman’s like many others in the porn industry, wanted me to look at a video involving Eva Berger. Kiara expressed her shock and disgust at the disturbing content in the video. Eva and Kiara were also casual friends.
Kiara asks me to investigate Pierre Woodman
Initially, I didn’t pay much attention to the Eva Berger video, but later, I found an article where Eva had spoken out against Siffredi and Woodman in a Russian newspaper. I decided to share the article as it supported my case against Siffredi and reached out to Woodman for clarification on the scene, asking to see the consent video. His angry and defensive reaction prompted me to investigate further, and I unearthed numerous problematic elements in the video that appeared non-consensual. I posted my findings on Twitter, which Woodman vehemently opposed and refused to provide any evidence of consent.
Throughout this tumultuous period, Kiara remained my rock, supporting my investigations into Woodman, Brill Babes, and Siffredi. However, the backlash from Woodman was intense. He contacted my friends, threatening legal action, and I felt besieged on all sides.
Meanwhile, I was grappling with the emotional turmoil of losing a close friend to suicide on New Year’s Eve. I couldn’t help but wonder if my pursuit of justice for the victims of Woodman and Siffredi’s abuse was fueled by my inability to help my friend.
Kiara leaves the good guys
My emotional state was fragile, and in late January, Kiara mentioned she was having lunch with Woodman, who, as I mentioned earlier, was a friend of hers. We discussed the meeting amicably, and she expressed her intent to gather information for me. However, when she met Woodman, I experienced a gut-wrenching sense of betrayal, likely due to the usually constant communication between Kiara and me being disrupted.
When Kiara and I met later that evening, she revealed that Woodman had shown her some behind-the-scenes footage, which had convinced her that Eva Berger had consented to the activities in the video. When I pressed her for details, she seemed uncertain and couldn’t confirm consent for many of the activities I had tweeted about. Her entire attitude had shifted, and she repeatedly stated that she was stepping back from the podcast, as it wasn’t her fight or goal.
This sudden change was bewildering, especially considering Kiara had been the staunchest supporter and was the one who initially urged me to investigate Woodman. She informed me that during her meeting with Woodman, he had made legal threats against me and that Brill Babes had also called her.
After our discussion, we agreed that Kiara would take a step back from the abuse-related podcasts but continue participating in the lighter episodes. I was grateful for her support thus far and understood her decision.
Kiara’s next move left me stunned. She posted a tweet that seemed to retract some of her previous statements. She suddenly claimed that she and I had differing opinions on consent, even though consent is a universal concept. She also stated that she had never experienced abuse in porn and that Siffredi had never hurt her, despite sharing her painful experiences with Rocco and other instances of abuse on my podcast.
As people in the industry began reaching out to me, questioning Kiara’s sudden change of heart and asking what could have prompted her to retract her statements, I found myself struggling to make sense of it all. Despite my confusion, I tried to support Kiara, as she was still my best friend. She insisted that she wasn’t going against my podcast but merely stepping back from the episodes about abuse.
Kiara joins the bad guys
Shortly after, I managed to secure an interview with Eva Berger, who shared her account of the abuse she had suffered at the hands of Pierre Woodman. The episode went live, and to my shock and dismay, Kiara released a video addressing my podcast. The same person who claimed she wanted to step back from the podcast was now publicly speaking against me and Eva.
In the video, Kiara engaged in victim-blaming, accusing Eva of not saying “no” and using common rape myths. It was a stark contrast to the views she had expressed on my podcast with Shona River.
I was deeply hurt by Kiara’s actions and saw the impact of victim-blaming on Eva. It was disheartening to see Kiara support Woodman and attack Eva and I, contradicting everything she had previously shared about her own experiences with abuse. Witnessing a fellow porn model and friend engage in victim-blaming was one of the most appalling things I have ever seen.
Kiara’s victim-blaming of Eva was not only cowardly and malicious, but it also endangered other women in the porn industry. As a veteran of the European porn industry, Kiara has considerable influence. By attacking Eva, she sent a message to other girls who might be considering speaking out that they would face backlash if they did so. This perpetuates a climate of fear that protects abusers and rapists.
The sad reality is that more girls will likely be raped and abused because of Kiara’s actions and the fear they instill in those who might otherwise speak out. Kiara went from being a courageous and inspiring figure for many women in the porn industry to becoming part of the problem. It’s disheartening to see a victim protecting predators from other victims.
Despite feeling betrayed, I decided that our friendship was more valuable than the story. I even posted a supportive message for Kiara on Instagram, which felt morally wrong, but I didn’t want people to think badly of her. I even worried that she had been threatened or coerced into making her statements.
I tried to save the friendship
Before leaving for a holiday, I reached out to Kiara in an attempt to salvage our friendship. She came over the day before my trip, and we talked for hours. Kiara provided two different, contradictory reasons for her actions: one, she had seen the consent video Woodman showed her and changed her mind; two, she claimed that she had only been supporting me during the initial podcasts.
Despite this, she maintained that she stood by everything she had said on my podcast, even though she had publicly retracted her statements. I asked her if she had been threatened or if there was any other reason for her betrayal, but she denied all my suspicions.
Ultimately, I decided that our friendship was more important than the podcast. I truly believed that, despite everything that had transpired, our bond was worth saving.
While on holiday, things seemed to be getting back to normal between Kiara and I. Our conversations resumed, and I had the opportunity to process the stress from the abuse stories and my friend’s suicide. I took the time to reflect on the situation.
End of the friendship
One evening, I asked Kiara again why she had betrayed us, seeking to understand her motives. She provided two additional reasons: first, she felt attacked, even though Eva and I had never targeted her; second, she believed that everyone was against Woodman, so she supported him by betraying her friends. Both explanations made little sense to me.
I encouraged Kiara to think about it and get back to me with a reason, but I suspected that I might never receive a satisfactory explanation. I recalled a previous incident where Kiara had dated Jack Rippher, an American performer working in Europe with a history of abusing women and even involving a child in a porn video.
I had intended to create a podcast warning other models about him, but I refrained from doing so because of Kiara started a romantic relationship with him. I felt that her actions had endangered other porn actresses, and I never received an explanation from her for that situation either.
I hoped that Kiara might be coming around, as she admitted that she might have been too harsh on Eva. She even confided in me that she believed the allegations against Woodman. Yet, despite this, she continued to support him and pose for photos with him. I couldn’t comprehend her actions.
I suggested that if she felt remorse for her statements about Eva, she could make a video correcting her comments and even meet with Eva. However, as our conversation continued, a moment of callousness later made it clear that she didn’t care about how her friends felt at all. I could accept her betrayal, but I couldn’t accept her lack of empathy or remorse.
In the end, I decided to end our friendship. I had tried everything I could to save it, but I couldn’t maintain a friendship with someone who lacked empathy and didn’t care about the feelings of others.
Despite the hurtful and malicious nature of Kiara’s actions, I will miss the good times we shared as friends. If I ever gain more clarity on this situation, I may share another update. But for now, I wanted to shed light on the behind-the-scenes drama of the podcast, as it is an important part of the story.
Moving Forward: Lessons Learned
While the end of our friendship has been a heartbreaking experience, it has also taught me valuable lessons about trust, loyalty, and empathy. I have come to understand that true friends stand by each other’s side, even when it’s difficult, and they put the well-being of others above their personal interests.
As LustCast continues, I am committed to maintaining the integrity and honesty that have been the hallmark of our podcast. I will continue to explore the challenging issues within the adult industry, support victims, and seek the truth, no matter where it leads.
The end of my friendship with Kiara Lord is a sombre reminder that people can change and that even the strongest bonds can be broken. It’s a story of betrayal, loss, and the importance of empathy in our relationships. As I move forward, I will cherish the memories of our friendship and continue to learn from this experience.